If you’re like me, you are occasionally curious about what makes some people irresistible and some not. Well your questions are going to be answered here. Through my years and years of research – I’m lying, I just read and observe a lot.
I’ve been able to narrow it down to some steps
1: Believe in something.
If you’re expecting a great quote by some long dead philosopher, you’re going to be disappointed, I’m fresh out. To be irresistible you’ve got to have a belief system.
What you believe in, shapes your life, controls your thoughts, actions and decisions. it’s basically your driving force. Belief system can be religion,values,etc.
I believe in God and He hasn’t failed me, rather it energizes me and guess what? people are drawn to energy.
So in summary, belief system=energy=irresistible.
Ps: you have to choose carefully what you believe in because it will run your life and require sacrifices, painful ones.
You’re probably going like ” this is too rich for my blood” but this is it.
Take it or leave it.
Ah ha!, I have a quote for this one, “knowledge is power”. Knowledge is seductive and your pursuit of it is another step in becoming irresistible, I know someone who is a budding producer,graphic designer, beat maker, I’m tired of listing his skills. Whenever we get the chance to talk, you can just feel the passion coming off him in waves when he talks about his projects, that is irresistible. I have a writer friend who spends hours on end honing his craft and as a result, he’s a much sought after ghostwriter.
Find something you’re passionate about and learn it.
You’re growing old either way.
3: Avoid Likeability.
I imagine people would like to strangle me for this point but it has to be said.
Live your life on your own terms. To be irresistible, you must come to terms with the fact that some people will not like you or what you do. Social conditioning has intimated that nice, well mannered people are well liked, this is a lie.
That will only create a generation of people pleasers and trust me when I say it is exhausting, emotionally draining and personality suppressing to do things based on people’s opinions.
Believe me, I’ve tried.
You should not be ashamed of expressing emotions people term as “negative”, or be forced into becoming someone else for people’s peace of mind. Express your self, be happy, sad,angry(don’t punch people in the face) if you want. You must absolutely make decisions based on your idea of wrong and right (go back and read point number 1). You must know where to draw the line.
4: Throw your Entitlement Away.
I want to state clearly, you’re not entitled to anything, you don’t deserve any special treatment from anybody just because you’re you.
You deserve only what you work for. This is a pill we all have to swallow, we have all felt entitled to something once in our lives. The sooner you accept that the better, you stop being upset when people don’t rush to do your bidding or call you out on your behaviour.
5: Face your fragility Daily.
We are all going to die.
Heart wrenching but true. On my way out one day I came across a crowd standing over a woman who was lying on the floor,bleeding from the head as a result of an accident.
I couldn’t say if she died but I know she didn’t wake up that morning with the intent of having her head cracked open.
Facing the fact that you won’t live forever is daunting, sad and strangely freeing. You choose how to spend your days, how to relate with people, what to give a care about.
All this generates energy and remember people are drawn to that. A plus side of this is that the truth of your fragility leads to self reflection and this inspires change.
Peace and love,